Whats Hidden Inside
by Rikki Writinglover
Summary: Loki forces the team, Pepper, Rhodey, and Fury to relive Tony's darkest memories, hear his deepest darkest thoughts. Will Loki's plan to break Tony by showing his every secret work, and can the team handle learning everything they thought about Tony Stark was wrong, that the sarcastic ,cocky badass is just covering someone who's breaking? SEQUAL now out!
1. Chapter 1

The Avengers were standing around a now defeated Loki watching him with irritated expressions. He had escaped and it had taken a lot to defeat him again, even though he was a lot easier to fight him without an army at his side. That still didn't make Natasha feel any better about the creepy way Loki was staring at Stark. Apparently Stark noticed the trickster God's smile as Loki was being tied up. "What's so funny Rudolph? See something you like?" Tony lifted up the faceplate and looked at Loki smirking. Loki cocked his head to the side. "I know you don't like it, Stark. I've been in your head. You act so confident, so secure. How do you think your so called team would react if they knew what really goes through that head of yours? Better yet how about if they knew your memories too?"

Natasha was puzzled when she saw the look of panic on Tony's face for a moment before expertly hiding it behind a mask of annoyance so perfect it was almost if she had imagined it, Hell if she didn't know how to do the same thing she wouldn't have seen it at all. That, along with what Loki had just said contradicted everything she knew about Stark. Why would those things bother him if Loki was lying? "Shut up Loki." Tony said his voice not quavering an inch, making her wonder if she really had imagined his panic a moment ago. Loki just smiled at Tony. "Well I think it's time for them to know Mr. Stark." A blue light appeared next to Loki, and then suddenly shot into Tony's head. Tony fell down unconscious immediately. Natasha's protective instincts took over seeing Stark taken down, and she lunged herself at Loki holding her knife at his throat furiously, practically growling. "What the hell did you do!?"

Loki grinned. "He'll be fine, physically anyway. All you have to do is get, your team, Tony, Pepper, Fury, and Rodney in the same room, and it will fix itself." Clint huffed kicking Loki in the back. "That just screams TRAP." Loki shrugged grinning. "He won't wake up until you do. "Then he disappeared. "THE HELL!?" Natasha screamed. Clint cursed and Steve growled. "Since when can he do that!?"

Thor shrugged helplessly. "I don't know my friends. It would be best to listen to my brother to help the Man of Iron." Steve fumed. "Fine, but I don't like this. Someone call Pepper, Rodney- I don't who that is- and Fury."

Four hours later they were all sitting around Tony Stark who was on the bed unconscious. They were waiting on Pepper who had to fly in from some small town where she was meeting some investor. The clicking of the small Clock in the back corner of the room was the only sound in the room, and Natasha wished that Pepper would just hurry up, but feeling horrible for her also. Pepper loved Tony more than anything and the way she watched over him they might as well be married. Suddenly Pepper burst in startling everyone, shuddering and eyes red from dried and still flowing tears.

"How is he?!"She demanded loudly. She was wobbling trying to stand up and talk calmly, and her legs just collapsed her body falling into Rodney who caught her."Shhhh Pepper he's gonna be okay." Natasha looked thoughtfully at Pepper. Pepper knew Tony better than anyone; maybe she could confirm or disprove the dark theory she had about Loki's plan. "Pepper, is Tony hiding anything about his past?"


	2. Chapter 2

Pepper went white and looked at Natasha nervously. "Why!?How does that….He just…he didn't tell me everything…." Natasha sighed taking that as conformation. "Loki was talking about it before he put the spell on Tony, asking what we would think if we knew about his past and what he thinks."

Pepper's eyes got wide and afraid triggering every single one of Natasha's alarm bells. "Oh my God…" Suddenly a white blaze flashed in front of all of their eyes and everyone in the room fell to the floor unconscious.

…

Natasha shot up in a completely white room now dressed in simple white clothes. The room appeared to have no doors of windows, like a torture room she'd once been in, nothing but white except for the figures of the rest of the group was around her rubbing their heads and muttering curses. "Where the hell are we?!" Clint growled angrily. Suddenly Loki appeared in a with a tied up, gagged, and blindfolded Tony Stark next to him. "Let him GO!" Pepper yelled anger racking her small figure. "You Bastard!" She screamed again trying to lunge herself at Loki but being held back by Fury.

Loki just laughed. "Soon, my dear, soon. Have a seat." 8 chairs appeared and a giant white screen. Not surprisingly no one sat down. Quickly looking around Natasha saw everyone was shivering with anger, even Clint. "Cut the crap Loki, where are we?" Fury said furiously, shooting a look that could kill most men. Loki just let a small smile spread on his sickly white face. "Why we're in Mr. Stark's head." Natasha strode towards the god and stood face to face with him barley keeping herself from socking him in the jaw." That memories crap you said earlier, you going to make us watch it aren't you? Loki grinned at her. "Hmm seems at least one of you is intelligent. Yes his memories, his thoughts. Everything he never wanted anyone to know."

Natasha bared her teeth in anger and Thor stomped up to his brother angrily. "Why do this brother?!"Loki chucked and it made Natasha's skin crawl with anger. "Because it will break him." That's when Clint and Natasha snapped launching themselves at Loki. Clint took him down punching him as hard as he could, but Thor caught Natasha restraining her. Suddenly a knife appeared above Tony's head. "Get off me, or he dies now." Clint grudgingly stepped away every muscle in his body screaming at him to kill this bastard. Thor released Natasha slowly and Loki spat at them. "Sit down now, or he dies." They all sat staring Loki down hatred burning in their eyes. Loki smiled s trickle of blood running from his nose. "The guests are here, so let's start the show" The screen lit up and the first memory began.

_A young boy with ruffled brown hair and big brown eyes, a five year old Tony Stark, sat in an oversized Captain America T-Shirt, tools in his hands creating a fairly advanced circuit board. "Daddy!Daddy look!"Young Tony said excited his big brown eyes lighting up. Howard Stark sat staring at a map of the Artic spread out on the table, littered with X's and circles. Howard circled another area of the ma, bottle of whiskey in hand, ignoring Tony's efforts to get to him. "Daddy please, please just look at me!" Young Tony begged his father, desperation in his voice that no one who knew him now had ever heard. Finally Howard's eyes drifted to Tony with a fiery hatred that no man should look at his child with. "What do you want!?" He roared at Tony who shrunk backward in fear." I'm sorry Daddy…I just wanted to show you…"Suddenly Howard lunged out slapping Tony in the face. "You wanted to what? So you can build a pathetic circuit board. Steve is out there somewhere, and you're wasting time I could be looking for him!HE was a real hero. He flew that plane down to save EVERYONE. He would hate you, you little brat ya know that?! He would agree with me that you're just a selfish little brat who could never be half of what he is. He was a HERO, and you will never be a HERO. Get out, I don't want to see your face again!"Young Tony backed up tears running down his face and blood on his cheek, and he ran, he ran as fast as his little legs could take him to his room, which was covered in Captain America posters, blankets, toys. Tony looked around at them and hated them. Hated the man his father preferred. He tore the posters down, threw the toys into the wall, smashing them, ripping his Captain America shirt to shreds and tossing it in the corner, finally collapsing into tears on the floor._

The screen turned white again and the group was sitting horrified and shocked. Natasha tried to hide her own emotions her fists clenching in anger, and slights shakes betraying her. She took deep breaths while looking over taking in the rest of the groups reactions. Fury looked pissed , his fists were clenched and a expression purely murderous on his face. Pepper was a sobbing mess, tears of anger and sadness spilling over. Rhodey was holding Pepper tightly, trying to calm her with expression of anger and pain on his face that rivaled what she imagined a brothers response to be. Thor was looking back and forth from the screen to Loki, confusion, anger, and outrage marring his usually happy expression. Clint's expression was full of understanding and sorrow, the understanding tearing at her heart even more.

Sighing she moved on stopping at Bruce who was gripping the chair with a vice grip. "Bruce you alright?" Natasha said cautiously trying to lace a calming tone into her voice. Bruce nodded and answered voice strained "Don't think I can hulk out here, but the other guys is still pissed off." She nodded and turned to Steve who was frankly, a wreck. His face was pure torment and guilt and it almost hurt to look at that much pain. "I said that….I told him he wasn't a hero….I QUOTED THAT BASTARD!"He roared tears escaping him.

Natasha reached out quickly putting her hand on Steve's arm. "Hey, no one knew Steve. Breath. Breathe." He turned his eyes first to her, then to Tony. "I'm so sorry…"He whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki interrupted them clapping and laughing at the scene. "Ah what an amazing beginning!Isn't that right Tony?" He said running his hand through Tony's hair in mock affection. "Too bad you can't hear how horrible your pathetic friends feel." Steve tried to stand along with Pepper but they were forced down into their chairs with magic. "DON"T YOU FUCKIN TOUCH HIM!"Pepper screamed baring her teeth and breathing heavily. Loki laughed making a "Tsk" Noise with his tongue."Ms. Potts I'll do whatever I choose. Like trapping Mr. Stark in a coma so I may show you all his lovely memories. Let's go for round 2 shall we?" Steve froze and then spoke quietly. "Exactly how will this break Tony?" Loki laughed heartily. "Oh, my dear Captain, because his mask is all he has left and every memory I show destroys it, because he can no longer hide from the only people he cares about. Now shh, don't want to spoil the show."

Pepper growled and Loki was about to say something but suddenly frowned. "Unfortunately my dears you will have to watch the next few without me, I have business to attend to, damn Stark." With that he disappeared again and Pepper shot out of her seat, magic released, towards Tony. "Tony baby, I love you…..I'm SO SO Sorry…I can't believe you didn't tell me it was that bad!"Clint stood up and walked over helping Pepper untie Tony with gentle hands. "Ah man Tony, Why the hell wouldn't you say anything?! I could have helped you. I CAN help you." The ropes feel and Tony fell into Peppers arms. The rest of the team rushed over taking the gag and blindfold off to reveal an unconscious Tony.

"You're a fool Stark. You don't need to hide." Rhodey said affectionately looking down at Tony. Then the screen started to fade into color and they all looked up ready for the next onslaught of memory.

_Tony was a little older then the last memory probably 7 or was sitting in a totally dark room, chains around his ankles and he was just staring blankly ahead. Suddenly the door opened and a man barely visible in that light stepped in. "You were right kid, daddy didn't pay, he didn't want you back." Tony just nodded and said expressionlessly "So you going to kill me now?" The man laughed. "Oh, no we still got our money, Stark. You know Peggy Carter? She's here to pick you up."_

_Tony laughed. "Of course she is, poor Peggy." Suddenly Peggy herself burst into the room, confidence and worries just pouring from her. "Tony!"She yelled running to him and throwing her arms around him. "OH baby I was so worried about you, your damn father. I'm sorry it took so long." She bit her lip and looked at him nervously. "Your father didn't say…Tony how long have you been here?" Tony shrugged. "Think about a month, dad didn't notice until 2 weeks ago and then he's been saying no for the ransom." Horror filled Peggy's face. "Oh God Tony, I was gone I didn't know I'm so sorry."_

Natasha looked away from the screen a moment to see Steve gazing open mouthed at the older Peggy Carter. His face was filled with love, longing, and guilt. Natasha put her hand on Steve's shoulder and he smiled weakly at her. Sighing sadly she turned back to the screen."

_"You shouldn't have come, Aunt Peggy." Peggy looked down at young Tony worry etched in her every feature. "Baby, don't say that." Tony just stared a sad expression sweeping over him. "I'm actually better off here Peggy, He doesn't want me. He'll be mad they didn't kill me." Peggy shook from anger as the men unshackled Tony. "NO! Tony Stark you are not dying on my watch!I love you like my own son. I am done letting your bastard of a father hurt you." Tony just sighed. "My father is your friend Aunt Peggy." _

_Peggy scowled as she picked up Tony holding him close. "Not since Steve, he's not. His promise, everything, well… Tony my friend is dead." Tony shook his head visibly shaking as he tried not to cry."My father is still in love with you Aunt Peggy." Peggy sighed. "I'll never love you father Tony. Only Steve….."Tears sprung in her eyes as she lifted Tony into a standing position. "Come on baby, let's go." A look of determination on her face she pulled Tony from the room. "This will be the last time this EVER happens ,I swear to god Tony I will protect you."_

The screen turned white again and everyone was quiet for a moment. Natasha looked down at Tony. Arrogant, Narcissistic, Smart Ass Tony Stark. He had hurt like she had before, back before Clint saved her, and she hadn't even noticed. Clint's arm swept around her waist and pulled her close, something she would usually kill him for doing in public, but right now they both needed the comfort. Natasha leaned into Clint and looked at Steve warily. Steve's eyes were closed and he was controlling his breathing.

"Something happened to her after this." Steve said shakily and the group stared at him strangely. "What do you mean?" Rhodey said having of let go of Pepper and now holding his own head. Steve looked directly at Fury. "Loki wouldn't of showed us if that was it. More happens to Tony, and Peggy would have NEVER let that keep happening. Something happens to her, am I right Fury?" Fury looked painted at the Captain and nodded silently. "How much of this did you know about the Man of Iron, Director Fury?" Thor said accusingly looking like he wanted to kill someone with his hammer.

Fury sighed. "Most of what I know about didn't happen until much later, and then I did what I could. Suddenly Pepper furiously reached over slapping Fury as hard as she could." You. Didn't. Do. ENOUGH!" She said trying to control her breathing. Natasha took in the small redhead appreciatively. She knew few people brave enough to strike Nick Fury. The woman had fire, she could see why Stark cared for her so much. She was about to say as much when the screen flickered to life again and they all turned towards it.

**Thank you all for your feedback I'm really happy with the responses I've been getting, Hope you like this newest chapter!Love you guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Tony was about 10 his brown hair longer and untidy falling over his face. He was sitting by a Christmas tree, in a small house that obviously wasn't Stark's. He was smiling and laughing. "Aunt Peggy come and put the star on!"Peggy came into the room practically glowing with a plate of cookies in hand. "I'm coming Tony!"She sat down next to Tony and tickled him laughing. "Merry Christmas baby. I love you little man" She ran her fingers through Tony's hair and he beamed. "I love you too Aunt Peggy." _

_Suddenly three men burst into the room guns drawn. Peggy immediately pushed Tony behind her drawing her gun and aiming at the man in the middle. "Look lady we just want the kid. Give him over and no one gets hurt." Peggy growled. "Over my dead body!" Then she shot the man in the middle and ducked avoiding the second man's gunshot. "Hide Tony!"She quickly rolled out of the second man's range when she heard Tony cry out. "Peggy!" Tony's leg was bleeding and he had fallen right next to the tree. "Tony!" She screamed taking out the second shooter and looking for the third. Then a gunshot rang out. Peggy stumbled and looked down to see her stomach bleeding and sat in shock for a moment. The third man raced toward Tony and she snapped out of it shooting him in the head before falling to the ground._

"PEGGY!"Steve screamed out chocked. "Oh God Peggy baby…."Natasha stifled a sob herself tearing her eyes away from Steve and back to the scene, silent tears of her own trailing down her face.

_"PEGGY!"Tony screamed tears falling from his face._

Natasha froze at the eerie way Tony echoed the Captain and shuddered at the raw pain in their voices.

_Suddenly the scene shifted and a group of people in black was shown from overhead._

_ Tony was dressed in a black suit and tie, tears running down his face out of control as he stood next to his father and mother in a graveyard. A funeral. Someone was speaking and Tony looked over trying to pay attention and not get lost in his guilt. _

_"Peggy Carter was one of the bravest women to ever walk the Earth. She was kind and smart, valiant. She was hero in every aspect of the word. She gave her life protecting a child, young Tony Stark. It was a honor to have known her."_

_Then scene shifted again showing a dark room._

_"YOU!"PEGGIE  
IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"Howard Stark screamed at Tony pushing him to the ground. "Why would she want to protect a worthless piece of crap like you?!"Tony looked up tears in eyes. "I don't know… "He whispered pain racked his small voice. Howard growled and kicked Tony hard in ribs. "Why did I ever have you!I hate you!God I hate you!Peggy is gone because of YOU!She should have left you to die!She should have let them take you!"_

_Sobs racked Tony's small frame and Howard laughed. "Look at you. Pathetic. But since I have you I have to make use of you." Howard easily lifted Tony laying him a on a operation table and strapping him down. "This will hurt. A lot." He picked up a syringe and jammed in into Tony's arm. "Dad what-"Tony began scared then suddenly let out a bloodcurdling scream. Howard just sighed writing down something on a piece of paper."I'm not your father. At least when you wake up you'll be a little useful."_

The screen faded to white and Natasha let out the scream of rage she had felt bubbling to the surface. "That bastard is LUCKY he's already dead." She grabbed one of the nearby chairs tossing it into the wall, watching it shatter. She felt a hand on her shoulder and whirled on Clint who was obviously containing his own anger. He nodded towards Steve whose eyes were completely murderous, and was digging his nails into his leg. "Steve?" She said worryingly taking a step in his direction. Steve smiled a purely evil smile. "I would kill him if he were alive. I might settle for Loki if he returns."

Her eyes moved to Thor at that , but the God looked just as angry and wasn't paying any attention to Steve. Her eyes flickered to Fury who had a guilty expression on his face that set her off. She launched herself at him wrapping her hands around his throat. "You knew! You knew and you didn't fuckin tell us." Fury started choking and she let him go, shocked at herself. Her hands shaking from anger and shock. Fury just glared and rubbed his throat."I only knew about Peggy, and what happens after that shot, but I'm not the only one. Isn't that right Ms. Potts?" Natasha turned to face Pepper who was holding onto Tony as if he was trying to make sure he was still there.

"You know damn well I only knew about Peggy, and I WASN"T around to help when it was FUCKIN happening, You were." Peppers eyes could practically shoot fire at the moment and Natasha nodded at respect towards the woman. "Guys!" Clint said irritated. "Stop fighting. All of you, this isn't the time, we've got a long way to go and I have a feeling we aren't even halfway there yet."

As if on cue the screened start up again and Rhodey sighed rubbing his temples. HE knew what happened next, though he was so NOT going to voice it. "God Tony… "He whispered regretting all the times he'd told Tony to start acting like a man.

**Alright this chapter was pretty raw and dark, let me know what you think, I hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Howard was wearing his dazzling fake smile an older looking Tony, about 12 or 13 by his side. Except different…he didn't look like TONY. He had a blank expression, as if he had no emotion at all, and his long dark hair had grown over half of his face and making him look older.. With a gun trapped at his side, and a wicked looking knife sticking out of his boot, he looked a lot more dangerous than the other memories. There was a man strapped to a chair in the middle of the room laughing. "What are you going to do Stark, Charm me to death?" He said sarcastically, but with fear creeping into it. Howard's fake smile disappeared replaced by an evil grin. "I was thinking torture, actually."_

_The man laughed nervously. "You don't get your hands dirty Stark." Howard smiled. "Antony. Torture, I want him screaming." Without even a blink Tony stepped forward, pulling a knife from his boot. "Yes master." Tony stepped to the man and without a breath of hesitation sliced the man's pinkie finger off, blood running all over his hands. The man screamed in agony and Tony didn't even flinch in taking off the next two fingers, while the man screamed like a wild animal." My Agent isn't going to stop until I say Radcliff. Better just tell me who sent those men that killed my Peggy." They weren't sent for her, they were sent for you science experiment here. Brainwashed your kid Stark? That's heartless even for you." Howard growled. _

_"Antony Give me a hand will you? Actually give me his. Now" Tony nodded and immediately cut the man's hand off, sawing through it horribly making a sickening crunch. Radcliff screamed bloody murder tears rolling down his face and Tony walked to Howard handing it to him. "What the hell did you do to that damn kid?!You have him kill the rest of them too? I wondered where they went. You put 56 murders on your damn kid?!Howard just smiled."57. Antony I am done hearing him talk, Finish." Tony nodded. "Yes Master." As he crossed the room viscously slitting the man's throat, without a hint of emotion of hesitation in his big brown eyes._

_Howard scowled shaking his head annoyed. "Clean up this mess, Antony." Tony nodded and began to clean the blood that now covered everything when a voice sounded. "The hell are you doing here Stark!?Is that Tony?! What the hell is wrong with him?!"An angry (and young) Nick Fury stepped onto the scene. Tony didn't even flinch at the man's voice, he just kept cleaning. Howard beamed a psychopath's smile. "Ahh Agent Fury, Interested in my creation? It's a nice little drug. Wipes his own away consciousness, Making him completely obedient. It, He, is my greatest creation. It's worked two years, without flaw."_

_Fury socked Howard in the jaw. "You are a crazy bastard. That's your damn KID!"Howard laughed. "Oh no see my child died in a plane crash over the Artic. This is a curse I never asked for. I don't want him and I'll NEVER EVER be his father. I'm only leaving him the company because I HAVE to. Just like he's alive because I need the Stark name to move forward, he's only a name."_

_Nick growled picking a totally unaware Tony up gently. "I will do whatever I can to get him away from you. You keeping him on this drug gives me all the proof I need." Howard just smiled. "No, because that dose wears off in about 15 minutes, and then you'll have nothing. I'm Howard Stark, I can do whatever I want, and you can't touch me."_

The screen faded and Natasha was shivering from anger, sadness, guilt, pity. The whole damn rainbow of emotions. Her face felt hot and sticky and she pressed a hand to her face feeling it wet with tears. She didn't know how to feel, she was never good at this. She knew she felt horrible about everything. That everything was wrong. Stark was the one she counted on to be simple. Arrogant, self-centered, but a funny and dependable badass. Now he had more to him than she ever dreamed and Natasha was clueless on what to do with this Tony. She didn't know him and she felt horrible for letting a simple mask fool her. "Tony…."A strangled whisper came from her mouth and she wrapped her arms around herself to keep from sobbing.

"Tasha." Clint's arms were around her in a flash and she quickly realized that he had tears in his eyes too. "I'm so damn stupid." He said emotion filling his every word. "We all were." She replied hopelessly. Looking wearily at the team her heart broke ever more.

Steve was full on sobbing/screaming smashing every single chair in the room with Thor, who was sobbing heartily as well, which really took the knife to her heart since she could never picture this man sobbing like a child, and here he was the God of Thunder balling. She saw Steve's sickly green completion and turned away. She knew it was Howard calling Steve his son that snapped him, and there was nothing she could do. Fury had his head buried in his hands and was muttering to himself sobs racking his frame as well. Rhodey staring off into space, silent tears streaming down his face and he kept reaching out to make sure Tony was still there. Bruce was a wreck as well crying and shaking in rage, talking to Tony who obviously could not hear him.

"Loki's getting more than he bargained for..."She whispered to Clint whose heavy sobs she was beginning to feel. "He's not just breaking Tony. He's breaking us

**Alright now I'm actually terrified what you guys will think of this one. It was extremely hard to write, and I'm nervous. I know I put Rodney instead of Rhodey in the beginning, I didn't realize that my computer was auto correcting the name. I plan on fixing it when I have time, but right now I don't. Also someone commented that Loki wouldn't call him Rhodey because it was a nickname. I'm pretty sure I only ever had Loki mention Rhodey like once, but anyways since had never met him, I figured it would more likely he would call Rhodey that since that how Tony thinks of him and Tony is where Loki was gathering his information. Though if you don't think so I'm sorry I can't please everyone.I'm only human.**

**Anyways thank you for the support, I promise the more you tell me what you think the quicker I will yall!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Fury?" Natasha heard Clint say worryingly. Her head shot up and she looked over to where Nick Fury, leaning against the wall, laughing. It was a bitter laugh, but a laugh nevertheless.** "So he** **wasn't crying…he wasn't sobbing…I was wrong…." **she thought jealously. She had lost her mask, but Fury still had his. Not fair. "Fury, what in God's name are you laughing about?!"Steve growled angrily, shocking everyone with his harsh tone.

Fury looked up and sure enough there were no tears in his eyes. "He was right. I COULDN'T fuckin touch him. I was a low level agent and no one believed me over Howard Stark. Tony was put right back into his damn care and I got put on probation. "He laughed bitterly again." Then later, worse than I thought could possibly happen, happened."

Natasha was about to ask what he meant, and why out of the corner of her eye she saw Pepper go white with fear, shrinking back into the wall, when the screen started up again and Natasha flinched into Clint who wrapped his arms around her tightly, Pulling them both the lean against one of the few chairs still intact.

_ Tony was about 15, his hair was wild giving him a roguish-handsome look. He held the posture of a defeated man and there was a look of torment in his eyes that ran so deep it hurt to look at. He was staring at the mirror helplessly as if it would give him answers the answers his eyes were desperately searching for._

**_"Worthless, you killed so many people. You're a monster, and no one wants a monster. Your father hates you. Your mother ignores you. No one wants me. I don't want me."_**

The young voice of Tony Stark filling the room saying that had startled them and Clint gasped squeezing Natasha harder. "His thoughts… this is what he was thinking then…we're hearing them…."The group's eyes widened and Natasha sighed wishing this would just end. So she could tell Tony how much she cared, even if it was weak.

**_"I don't want this. I have nothing…. Nothing to…nothing to live for."_**

_Young Tony suddenly grabbed a knife from his pocket staring at it longingly. He run his finger roughly along the edge blood immediately stains his skin. He laughed bitterly. "Now the blood literally stains my hands." He said to himself, reaching over and locking the door to the bathroom._

**_"Murderer."_**

_He slides the knife along the skin of his wrist blood running down it._

**_"Failure."_**

_Another cut. Tony closes his eyes as the blood pores over his skin and falls to the floor watching the blood run under the door._

**_"Soon, I'll be gone. Wonder how long it will take anyone to notice. Hey, I wonder if I'll see Peggy. I miss Peggy."_**

_Tony's vision blurred out and the scene shifted to a hospital room. Tony was sitting hooked up to monitors, and a rather elderly man was sitting in one of the chairs sobbing quietly. "Jarvis?" Tony mumbled and the old man rushed to his side. "Master Tony!You're going to be alright. Everything will be just fine. I promise. I'm sorry." Tony's brown eyes flashed open pain filling them up. "Why can't anyone just let me go? I don't wanna hurt people anymore." Jarvis took a few deep breaths stroking Tony's hair. "Shhh ,no Tony. You aren't hurting people. Promise. Just no more hurting yourself"_

"God Tony…"Bruce whispered from the corner. Natasha turned seeing that his head was against the wall and his stance was totally defeated. "Pepper?" Steve said nervously staring at the woman from beside Clint and Natasha on the far side of the room. Pepper was curled up by Tony, her head buried in his chest and sobs racking her body."No,no,no,no Tony baby I WANT you, I NEED you."

Natasha let her hand fall to her knees. There was no escape from this. Then suddenly a voice filled the room. "I'll get you out soon guys, I need more time, but I'll get you out." The voice. Tony's voice. Tony's voice NOW….except how could that be their Tony when Tony was passed out in Pepper's arms?"

**Short Chapter guys, sorry. This chapter was HARD, mostly because I'm so tired and was nervous about writing this one. I don't want to let you guys down. Anyways please let me know what you think, I'm going to be adding a new story soon, where the Avengers are forced into "Bonding Time." It will probably be a friendship/humor story with a good dash of hurt comfort mixed in. Love yall.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Banner? What was that?" Steve said confused. Bruce's face scrunched up as he stood pacing the floor. "That was Tony….This here is Tony…OH!" He quickly ran to the Tony lying on the floor. "Tony you amazing bastard!" Everyone just stared at Bruce confused .After a moment he looked up from examining Tony realizing they were all waiting. "Guys, do you know how to remember something, you have to think about it? Your mind conscious has to go there? Well with Tony, he's a genius, so his subconscious mind is always thinking of something else he needs to be doing or working at the same time, which is why he can have the calculations done on one project while working on another and etc. Loki had to trap Tony's conscious mind here, so we could see the memories and Tony couldn't wake up, but didn't think his subconscious mind was powerful enough to be a my guess, is out there somewhere else in Tony's head, his subconscious mind is trying to get Loki out of his head, and by extent, us. My bet is we just heard him."

Natasha's eyes lit up with understanding. "Oh shit, that's…"She stuttered not sure what to say. "Fuckin awesome." Clint finished for her, but no smile on his face. Everyone was silent for a few moments taking in everything when Steve, who was running his hands through his hair obsessively, finally stopped and looked up. "Did anybody…Pepper…did anyone knew Tony…tried to… commit suicide?"

Pepper's head slowly rose and she sighed. "I did. I knew about Peggy because he told me, and his suicide attempts because I had to handle his medical records." Her voice was tired and she ran her hand over Tony's face nervously. "I thought knowing would help with seeing it, but it doesn't. I never knew he hated himself even back then, I thought it was probably just pressure."

Thor spoke up surprising everyone. "Lady Pepper, you say attempts, and that he you didn't know he hated himself back then, how many times has Man of Iron tried this?"

Pepper gulped and looked at her hands. Thor's hard expression faded and he crossed the room towards her wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Lady Pepper, please?" Pepper's red eyes met Thor's and then drifted to the res tof the group. "Five times. That I'm aware of." Steve's eyes grew horrified and Clint tightened his hold on a paling Natasha. Bruce just closed his eyes listening to Pepper and waiting for her to continue. Pepper took a deep breath. "The first time was just then, when he was second time he was 22 he tried to jump off a building, but Obie found him. The third time was when he was 34 and I found him playing Russian Roulette. The fourth time was after Afghanistan, and Obie, he tried suffocation. The last time…the last time was right after The Battle of New York. He pulled his Arc Reactor out."


	8. Chapter 8

Clint's fists clenched and Fury and Natasha's jaws dropped. "HE DID WHAT?!" Rhodey yelled lurching to his feet, guilt and pain carved into his usually clam features. "How could he not tell me?!How could I not know that just a few months ago my best friend tried to commit suicide for the 5TH TIME!?"

Pepper just looked down in guilt again tears resurfacing in her already red eyes. "I'm sorry I kept it from you all. It's the only thing he's ever asked me not to say. I couldn't betray his trust." Rhodey's tantrum ended and he dropped beside Pepper and Thor rubbing Pepper's back and glancing sadly at Tony. "I'm really sorry Pepper. Why wouldn't he let you tell any of us?" Pepper's head shot up glaring at Fury. "Because that bastard over there never even put him officially on the team, even after New York, and he didn't want to be kicked off the Avengers. In his mind they are all he has. He cares about you all."

6 pairs of angry eyes turned to Fury who's expression didn't change but his shoulders fell in shame. "I thought it would keep him motivated. I had no idea Tony was still so…broken. I knew the murders his father forced him to commit were hard on him, that's why when Agent Barton was compromised by Loki, I sent Tony to talk to him. I thought he could help him move past it, but I don't think he ever did himself."

Clint un-wrapped his arms from Natasha and stood pacing and then slamming his fist into the wall. "DAMMIT TONY! I could help!I KNOW!I can't believe…we ALL thought he was fine…he saved the world…he laid down on the wire….then he tried to kill himself?! WHY!?I could have seen it when he was younger, but now, he should know!"Then pure anger and pain in Clint's voice shook even Fury who's expression of anger faulted showing his surprise and pain for what they were. "He did it because he thought he was a danger." Pepper's small voice piped up causing Clint to turn around in surprise. "He…what?" Pepper took a deep breath. "The times I was there….. Obie told me some too, the hypocritical bastard…. Anyways… The second time he tried, when he was 22, was after the car crash of Tony's parents. When Obie pulled him off the edge of the building he was in hysterics, screaming he was a murderer and that he killed his parents. He said that the world was better off without the monster who killed his family.

When I found him playing Russian Roulette the third time he tried, he was drunk. It was right after a horrible accident in the lab killed 67 of his workers. He had made a small wiring mistake because Obie had kept him up for the last 78 hours making new weapons. He went out to get a new wire and wasn't in the room for the explosion, but later when I found out and went to check on him, he had the gun to his head. I had to hit him over the head with a wrench and take the gun. He just cried in my arms, he told me everyone was safer if he would just die. That people had to stop saving him. They had to stop or he'd get them killed. The time after Afghanistan, after Obie betrayed him, he had locked the lab down, and held himself under water. I don't know how he could even start THAT without having a seizer, I mean the flashbacks he gets from just going into the pool are horrible….anyways….thankfully JARVIS warned me and I got there in time to do CPR. He didn't say anything that time when I brought him back. He just pointed at a bunch of pictures he had taped the wall. They were pictures of the villages that Obie destroyed using his weapons, and said, "THAT"S what I'm trying to prevent Pepper." Then he walked off.

He seemed a lot better even with the dying of poison…until after the Battle. I walked into the lab and saw him watching a video of himself talking to Loki. I watched for a moment curious, and then I saw the Arc Reactor lying on the table. I ran in and screamed and cried, begging for him to stop. He panicked putting it back in and trying to comfort me. I wouldn't listen. I yelled at him screaming "WHY?!"Until he broke into tears too. He said,"Loki…..Pepper…If Loki had gotten control of me like he wanted, I would have been the downfall of the Earth. I would have killed my friends; I would have killed them all. I would of killed YOU PEPPER!I'm a walking WEAPON!"I held him….I tried to comfort him, tell him Agent Barton had been compromised, that he DID get compromised and he didn't think he was too much of a danger to live. Then he looked me in the eyes with a look of self-hatred that STILL haunts me, and told me,"Because Barton isn't a monster Pepper. He hasn't killed innocent under his own control. They aren't monsters like me, and I don't want to hurt them. Any of them." Then he cried himself to sleep in my arms, and has refused to let me talk to him about it since then. "Pepper finished curling into herself and trying to keep her breathing calm.

Clint backed up in horror to the wall and sliding down it. "Tony's not a monster…."He whispered tears running down his face. Natasha slammed her fist into the wall. "Narcissistic?!I said he was Narcissistic?!I'm such a heartless BITCH!"

**Alright so I didn't put any memories in this one... hope you guys liked the way I had Pepper tell the story, I didn't want to have to do different memories of each of his attempts. I'm in a mood right now so I'll probably be updating this one quite a few times in the near future. Love yall!Those reviews inspire me please keep letting me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

Clint raced across the room grabbing Natasha's wrist and pulling her into his chest. "It's not your fault, Tasha, it wasn't your fault." Tears spilled out onto his shirt, and she pulled away wiping her eyes. Suddenly applause broke out on the other side of the room and they all turned to see a very smug Loki leering at them from the corner of the room. "You smug, evil bastard!"Steve growled his arms quivering as Thor reached out to restrain him. Thor looked at his brother with anger and an actual hint of hatred in his eyes. "Loki, this is cruel, why do this?" Loki looked shocked and then smiled. "No "Brother", Thor? Just Loki?" Thor snarled at him. "My brother is DEAD, Loki. You killed him."

Loki just rolled his eyes, but Natasha could have sworn she saw him flinch ever so slightly. "Well since Pepper," He smirked again saying Peppers name with distain and contempt. "Has taken the liberty of explaining the next few memories, and Mr. Stark is causing some slight problems, I think we will skip ahead to some recent things before we go back to Afghanistan shall we? Enjoy." Then he disappeared and the screen flickered to life again.

_It was back on the Helicarrier and Steve everything was getting out of hand._

**_"_****Big man in a suit of armor, take that away what are you?" **_Steve glared and Tony could see the look of disappointment in his eyes, looking for something that wasn't there. He was looking for Howard and Tony knew it. He wanted to speak the truth. He wanted to agree. He wasn't anything, with or without the armor. He knew that, he really didn't need his childhood hero telling him so, though it did stab him through the heart._

**"Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist."** _He says even though he knows he doesn't mean it. He knew Natasha, Steve, everyone was right. He wasn't needed. Banner was smart enough to take care of their needs, and if they ever did need help, he wasn't going to say no, on or off the team."_

**"I know men with none of that worth ten of you." **_He had to resist snorting at that. Well duh Cap, everyone is worth ten of me, even Loki to Thor. Loki's a fuckin whiny bastard, but he isn't evil like Tony. Of course you know men worth more Cap, everyone is worth more than a monster. His heart hurt and he was a little distracted trying to hold it together when he hears it._

**"…You don't know what it means to lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you!"**

_Well, Ouch. That stung. Like he hadn't been trying to? God he had tried to save the world from himself so many damn times. Everyone stopped him for some damn reason. If Cap cares about the greater good so much, why wasn't he eliminating the greatest threat to everyone, the REAL monster on the team, because Bruce Banner was no monster. He cared and tried to help people. Bruce didn't deserve to be hunted, He did._

**"I think I'd just cut the wire." **_He said sarcastically, trying very hard not to just walk away, because then it would be pretty obvious everything wasn't fine, it would be obvious his Ex hero's words killed him._

**"Humf, Always a way out isn't there?" **_He mentally cringed. No Cap, there isn't. Not when your whole life means nothing but murder and deceit. He knows he doesn't deserve a way out. He really didn't need one though, because that wire dear old Cap just talked about? It was already wrapped around his neck._

The screen faded away and Tony's voice speaking his thoughts disappeared. Everyone turned to Steve to see his face totally white. "I think, I think I'm gonna be sick…" He said and his legs gave out under him, sending him crashing to the ground. "Steve!"Bruce ,Natasha and Clint yelled running to his side. Pepper, Rhodey, Fury, and Thor just stood watching in shock of what they had just seen and heard. Natasha held Steve's head up and Clint slapped him gently getting him back to focus. Tears rolled down Steve's face and he held Natasha's hand as Clint helped him sit up. "Oh god…I didn't know…I'm so sorry…."He muttered and Natasha looked over at him warily. They needed out. Soon, or everyone in this room was going to walk out a madman. "Steve, hey man, it's okay, everything will be alright .Tony's gonna be fine. We will take care of him now. We will show him he's not a monster, that he's not evil. He's hardly ever had anyone to care about him before, but now he has a family. Us." Clint spoke so surely it made Natasha crack a smile and steadied Steve's breathing. "It's starting again." Rhodey's broken voice rang and the group turned to face it, wondering just how much more they can take.

**Sorry if the quotes weren't quite word for word there guys, I haven't watched the movie in a while and I didn't want to go searching for the exact wording. Love you all, tell me what you think please!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Images of Fury snapped on the screen, with no sound, like a muted movie._

The group just looked around confused when the voice started speaking again.

**_"Fury's not that bad. He can be an ass, and he hates me, but that's not really a surprise. He knows what I've done. He knows how many people I have killed. I admire the guy though. He's got guts, and while he certainly doesn't take a fatherly role towards us Avengers, he's still better than my own blasted father, or Obie. Fury is rough, though I think he has a soft spot for Natasha. Protective. I don't really know why, maybe it's because she doesn't have anyone and he's known her forever. I wouldn't trust him with my life, because it's hard to put your life in the hands of someone who thinks your about equal to the dirt on his boots, but I'd trust him with the team's, and Pepper's life's, which are way more important. So yeah, I trust Fury. I think he's a gutsy son of a bitch, smart too. He isn't ruled by taking orders, he'll call his own shots when he needs too and I admire that .I count him as a part of the team, because well the Avengers wouldn't work without Fury. Now as long as he DOSEN"T try to kill me, I'm good. Though there does seem to be pattern going on."_**

The voice faded and the group just looked around kind of confused all eyes landing on Fury who had a look of surprise plastered on his face. "What…..WAS that?" Fury said his voice not betraying his surprise even though his face was. Natasha shrugged rubbing her temples. "I am pretty sure it's what he thinks of you." Bruce nodded in agreement. "Loki knows he doesn't have much time left before Tony gets us out of here. He's showing us what he can while he can. Secrets. I think that's why he's putting off Afghanistan, because we all at least vaguely know about that, now he's showing us Tony's true feelings about us. I'm actually a little terrified." Bruce said it jokingly but the pale sickly look on his face said otherwise.

"I think…..I think that we are going to see some of New York too…..because he almost died…. And I just have a bad feeling that there's something there that we didn't really know….Pepper said he tried to…. Well he tried THAT after the battle…. Because he was a danger, he would have been if Loki had taken control. I think he was hiding something though, because the pieces don't add up."Bruce continued voice shaky as the rest of the group tried to take understand his slightly garbled voice.

Fury wasn't really listening though, he was thinking. Stark had proven him wrong so many times today….but now Stark was wrong. He would never admit it but he felt a very fatherly protection over the Avengers. Stark had been right about the favoritism toward Romanov, and it was mostly because she was alone. Tony thought Fury thought he was worth nothing even though he really had a grudging admiration towards the man. Now he would have to let Tony know, in some sort of way that he valued Tony as much as the rest of the group. "Damn….." He whispered, earning his a curious look from Thor.

The screen slowly began to flicker and Natasha felt Steve wince under her hands. "It will be alright Steve, it's gonna be over soon." She whispered, but not sure she believed it.


	11. Chapter 11

_This time the screen showed images of Rhodey, a mosaic of images from recently, to years ago._

**_"Ah Rhodey, I love Rhodey. Always knew he was going to be someone. He was always special ever since I met him in MIT. He's a strong guy, and for some reason he wants to hang around me. I really don't know what keeps him around, especially before Afghanistan, when I was more of an emotionless robot wasting my life than a person. I'm getting better now, but he didn't know I was going to EVER get better. His blindness to follow orders really infuriates me though. I love the guy's loyalty, but it reminds me that my closest friend will ALWAYS be loyal to the military first. It doesn't matter though because I'd be lost without him now. I don't know how that even happened since at one point in my life I tried everything to get him to go away. He wouldn't budge and now I am terrified of him leaving, or getting hurt. I have to keep tabs on him every day just like everyone else. Anybody, I mean ANYBODY who goes after anyone I care about better watch their damn backs. Even though I'm pretty sure Rhodey KNOWS about my crazy over-protectiveness, he's a good friend and never says anything about it. I will keep Rhodey safe, he's my brother and that's what brothers do."_**

Everyone looked to Rhodey, who had a half smile gracing his surprised face. Natasha saw the ghost of tears in his eyes and smiled a little herself. She had a feeling that knowing Tony cared about him like that was the only thing keeping him from going crazy from guilt. Everyone in the room looked relived, and thankful that this one hadn't been some emotionally destroying memory that would leave them different than they were when they came in. It was just a simple train of thought, one that normal people should get to have a lot more often.

As Clint moved to hold her she snuggled into his chest, and she squeezed Steve's hand comforting the still slightly pale fallen soldier. She knew that he was scared. She was scared. They were going to hear Tony's thoughts about them eventually, and he might very well hate them both. Natasha didn't know exactly how to react to that. Not once in her life had she ever worried about someone hating her, except Clint, and now she might as well have been trembling. She moved in Clint's arms a little to look at Steve's face, and she couldn't help the pang of sadness that rang through her as she did.

Steve's face was still white, and his baby blue eyes were locked on her. Eyes usually filled with bravery and kindness showed only pain, a very raw pain that made her mouth dry and water spring to her eyes. She squeezed his hand a little harder and he smiled at her comforting gesture.

Rhodey watched the scene smiling from across the room. He didn't really know what to think. He didn't know tony cared so much, even if the comment about the military being more important to him than Tony had stung. Because the military was nothing to Tony, and Rhodey would abandon them in a heartbeat if he really thought his friend needed him. Now it was time to show Tony that he loved him back, and where his loyalties really lie. He sighed in temporary relief, and as he did, the screen once again began to flicker.

**I am so sorry for the short chapters you guys, I know its hard but I only want one person per chapter right now, so hang in there please. I would like to thank my reviewers who make me smile with their loving feedback, and tell you that you have no clue how much it means to mean whenever I get one. You guys rock, love you to death, tell me what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Images of Thor flashed across the screen, ranging from him sucking in Pop Tarts to incinerating enemies in battle._

**_"Alright, so I admit it, I love the big lug. He's like a big brother. A very LOUD big brother. With a creepy Pop-Tart addiction. I know I can trust the guy in battle, he's smart, and loyal, and I actually trust him with everything else too. I feel the guy's pain about Loki. I know he loves his brother and doesn't want to give up hope he'll get him back one day. I really can't say I believe that Loki will become good again, but you know, if he does, I'll be happy for the big guy. He deserves a brother, a good one, who ISN"T trying to kill him and destroy the world. I would help him out, but I gotta feeling that Thor doesn't want a robot Loki running around. Come to think of it that would be creepy for everyone, its giving me chills already. I do care for the guys though, I mean being a God, A superhero, a boyfriend, future king, warrior, dang he's got a lot on his plate. I know he thinks I'm a lot like his brother, and is trying to fit me into that role, but as much as I usually wouldn't care about the big guy treating me like a brother, I don't want him to think of me as a brother. Not because I don't feel the same way, but I can't bear letting him down like I do everyone. Loki disappointed him, betrayed him, and I couldn't put Thor through that again, and I know it will happen because it always does with me. That doesn't mean I'm not going to keep the big guy safe though. I don't feel guilty in the least that I have detectors all over the damn place for magical presences. Just because I wish Thor could have his brother back, doesn't mean I will EVER give Loki the chance to hurt him. Or anyone else for that matter, so yeah I also don't feel guilty about the nearly 3 trillion cameras I have in every agency of government, even shield, because I don't trust them not to hide the fact that he's back, and as long as I have any say secrets will never give Loki an advantage again, because last time I let people keep their secrets, Thor got stabbed, Barton got possessed, and we all almost died. Loki is STILL lucky I didn't shoot his ass to smithereens in the tower of blow the whole floor up. I knew we could beat him, but I didn't want to kill Loki, if only for Thor. Though thinking about it now, the face that I would have been dead too really wouldn't have gone over well, and Thor would have felt all guilty. Hmm. Guess all's well that ends well._**

Thor just stared at the screen, and everybody stared at Thor." I um-was not aware The Man of Iron knew I thought of him as I once did Loki, or that he was…watching out for me."

Natasha let a smile slip from her mouth. It was good to see the hope and happiness light up in his eyes again. He did think of Tony as a brother, it was pretty obvious. " He's worried about letting you close because he doesn't want to disappoint you. He doesn't want to hurt you like Loki did." Clint said softly and Thor sighed thoughtfully. "I must tell Iron Man that he doesn't disappoint me, and I trust him with my life. I truly care for him as a brother, and his leniency and caring about me, and my late brother is most appreciated." Natasha couldn't help but feel sad at the way Thor said late. Hoping his brother would return took up a lot of the big guy's heart, and he wouldn't be the same now. What's worse is she also knows Tony will blame himself, because he's Tony. "Wonder who's next?" Bruce mused and they all looked apprehensive before the screen started to flicker once more. "Guess we're about to find out" Clint sighed holding her close.


	13. Chapter 13

_Images of Steve, some photos' and posters, others real images appeared on the screen._

**_"Steve Rogers. Captain America. My father went crazy because of Captain America. He was the son that Howard always wanted, the one I could never be. The perfect man, son, everything. Captain America is the man that my father insisted would hate me, would be disappointed and disgusted by me. The one who is. The one who looked me in the eyes and told me I wasn't worth it. Steve Rogers is the man I looked up to my whole life, the one who Peggy told sweet stories about, said that if he were here Steve would treat me like a son, much better than my own father. Steve is the one who freaks out apologizing after the incident on the Helicarrier, the one that worries about me like a big brother. Peggy never called Steve Captain America; because Steve WASN'T Captain America, Steve ISN'T Captain America. I loved Steve like a brother, a father, even if I had never met him .He is the one I worry constantly that will hate me if he ever figures out I am the reason Peggy was killed, because I truly can't take losing the guy. The one who I can't STAND disappointing. Captain America is the man I scream at every night in my head, the one who would hate me for murdering my father. Yet I feel no guilt for messing with my dad's breaks because Howard Stark was a monster, like me. Its Maria Stark's death I regret, even if she was never a mother to me, the one I worry Steve would hate me for as well. Steve is brave and kind, strong and good intentioned. He's everything I'm not, but I still love him. I wouldn't admit it but I love finding Steve's sketches of everything lying around the tower because it gives me a sense of the world through a good man's eyes. I look forward to it actually. Just like I look forward to that exasperated grin when I tell Thor there are real people trapped in the T.V. ,and the playful slap in the back of the head when I'm late to a meeting, because I never knew what it was like to have a brother. Except I can't do that. If I do that, then I might disappoint him. Worse I might hurt him, just by being me or by letting the horrible monster his friend was slip through. Because Steve only has so many good memories to hold onto, and I couldn't bear to do that to him, couldn't bear to ruin even one of them. Though I can't help caring as much as I may try, I will stay away, and I will protect him. Because I love Steve Rogers as a brother, even if I hate Captain America as much as my father. They aren't the same to me though, so it doesn't matter. It should, but it doesn't._**

Natasha was speechless. She couldn't even begin to grasp what she had just heard. The room was perfectly silent, and a little afraid, she turned her gaze to Steve. His baby blue eyes met hers, and there was distinct happiness, and love in them, the shadow of torment that had been there this whole time fading, just a little. She felt herself let a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding go, and relaxed in Clint's arms. Steve smiled and looked to Tony, a look she couldn't quite recognize come over him, making her wonder how much guilt Steve held on his shoulders. Even Cap- NO- Even Steve, couldn't hold the world on his shoulders. Super soldier or not.

**Alright guys, this was... very hard to write, it had to be confusing, and its a little hard to make something confusing but not too confusing. Oh god I'm confusing myself trying to explain it. Well I will give you Steve's reaction next chapter, so be ready you I would love you forever if you guys will look at my one-shot Natasha Knew Things and let me know what you think because I have never tried something like that before. I love you guys to death and I want to tell all you reviewers that you make me really happy sometimes, that when I'm feeling down you make me feel appreciated. Well enjoy and let me know what you think! Love yall!**


	14. Chapter 14

Steve's heart was racing to keep up with the onslaught of emotions that were being thrown at him. Tony didn't hate him; well at least not the real him. Steve didn't know what to think here, he was at a loss. He expected Tony to hate him, to want nothing to do with him, and Tony was worried about STEVE hating HIM! How could he hate Tony? Peggy wasn't Tony's fault. Peggy Carter protected those who she loved, and she obviously loved Tony like a son. None of the things that happened to Tony were ever his own fault, a lot of them, were in fact Steve's, and Howard's, that bastard, even more so. God was still hitting his confused brain too. HOW had he MISSED this!? How had he not seen that Tony was so hurt and lost? How had he not figured out that Howard was a monster before now? He had known the man before Tony was BORN for God's sake. Now he wished he hadn't of known him, maybe Tony would have had a normal childhood. Maybe he wouldn't have had to kill his father to escape the torture that was his life with the man… maybe he wouldn't have tried to escape by taking his own life. He winced involuntarily at the thought and felt the others eyes fall upon him. Thankfully Fury decided to help him out.

"I had a feeling that Tony was behind the wreck." All of their eyes shot to him and Bruce looked shell shocked. "You knew and didn't do anything back then?" Fury just smirked. "Not much I could do. The bastard deserved a much more painful death, but it serves him right it was by Tony's hands. Tony…. he was devastated about Maria though. For him it was like murdering a stranger. He didn't see his mother more than once or twice a year. She did everything she could to stay away from Howard and left Tony to take it." Fury's jaw clenched as he said this and Bruce clenched his fists and sighed. "I really, really wish we could get out of here. The Hulk and I are actually are on the same page for once. I wanna smash something, and Hulk prefers Loki as a target."

Natasha was about to comment on that when the screen began to light up and everyone tensed, not exactly sure what to expect. "Ready?" She whispered quietly. No one answered and the group once again turned to the screen with heavy hearts.

_Images of Bruce and the Hulk flickered on the screen quickly._

**_"Bruce, Hulk, Science bro, whatever you call him, the guy is amazing all around. I wish to God I was like him, Hulk or no Hulk, though I like the big guy a lot too. Bruce Banner is just so damn GOOD it burns .He's compassionate, he's kind, he's gentle with people. Hell people generally love being around him. I love being around him, which is saying something since people and I don't get a lot too savvy. Bruce is brilliant, and uses his brain to save people not hurt them, something I wish I had done. Now he's hunted, while I sit in my damn tower with billions of things I DON'T deserve. I would trade him, because I deserve to be hunted, hated, though the second one happens anyway. Damn Ross, for messing up Bruce's life. He could have been happy; he could have been with Betty, if it wasn't for that BASTARD. At least I took care of that…._**

**_(Flashback in the thought)_**

_Tony stood in a simple white room, dressed in a dashing suit with a smile to match. "General Ross." He said in a neutral voice sitting across from the scowling man on the other side of the table. "What the hell do you want Stark? Tony just smiled widely. "Well I want your despicable ass dead at my feet, but that isn't a outcome I see needing to happen anytime soon as long as you play nice." The general scowled and then smirked. "I'm not afraid of you Stark; you're the weakest one on the team. You can't touch me."_

_Tony stayed perfectly poised, but his eyes blazed then settled into a disturbing, dangerous glare. "Oh, General, how you are right. I AM weak." Suddenly he shot across the table holding a jagged dagger to Ross's throat. "I am weak because I am not a good man. I have murdered so many… tortured plenty as well. He smiled a malicious smile and moved the dagger to Ross's face cutting his cheek and drawing a light trickle of blood. The General look positively terrified a horrified expression dominating his features._

_"Stark…. You….don't… they'll kick you off the team, you evil bastard." Tony shrugged. "Probably. Too bad, but I shouldn't be on a team of superheroes anyway; at least Bruce will be safe." The General mustered up enough courage to scoff at that. "I won't leave the monster alone. Think I'll add you to the list as well since you're proving to be a monster as well." _

_Tony smiled at that and suddenly slashed Ross's shoulder hard causing him to cry out in pain, and Tony grabbed the man's face roughly forcing the man to look at him. "You should know about monsters. Yes I'm one. You're one. So you should know what I'm capable of you bastard. I have tortured dozens of men and had them balling at my feet without me even flinching. I know how to fatally wound you, but make you drag out long enough you can feel every BIT of the many pain's I deliver you. You start with the fingers…" Tony grabbed the man's hand and held a knife to Ross's hand menacingly. "Then you cut off what is left of the hand….. Same with the feet. Then move onto the face…that's the fun part. Choosing the pattern to carve…"_

_Tony looked absolutely horrific, no bluff, nor remorse in his eyes, topped with a truly evil smile straining his usually relaxed features. Ross let out a strangled scream. "You…you're insane…." Tony smirked slipping the knife into his sleeve once again. "I learned from the best General. Now do we have an understanding, or do I have to bring Betty Ross into this?" The General tumbled to the floor in shock his face ashen. "You… Betty…. Oh god… I understand. We have a understanding. I'll leave the Hulk and Bruce alone." Tony just nodded stepping out of the room and slamming it behind him._

**_"At least that's one problem off my chest. I do have a vague feeling he might come after me though, since getting revenge on me wasn't in the deal. I wasn't thinking about it though, I had Bruce on my mind first. I already had to slip away from the team to get to meet Ross. I was distracted, amateur move on my part. Thankfully he bought every second of it though, good thing to because it was hard to say. I don't like remembering the torture. Now Bruce can have a better life, I hope. Bruce, my brother, or step in father sometimes. He's one guy I'm not worried about disappointing, because he has no expectations, he's been treated so badly in his life. He actually was pushed to the point of trying…of trying what I tried. That killed me there. Bruce should never be like me in any way. He should be a happy doctor married to Betty Ross with children right now, not a walking misery fest. Well I'm going to change that dammit he will be happy. I don't care if it kills me, I got the life he deserved, I will damn well make sure the life he has stays as good as possible. He will never ever get that low again if I have anything to say about it."_**

**So... I got pretty dark on you there. I know it was pretty intense, I shocked myself writing it. Anyways I hope you like it, let me know what you guys think! Love you guys!**


	15. Chapter 15

hey guys my labtop broke, I probably wont be able to update until monday, Im sorry. Love you guys


	16. Chapter 16

Natasha felt her mouth fall open in surprise, and her heart race in….was that?Fear? Oh shit that wasn't good, like, at all. She could feel that frantic breathing of Clint behind her and knew he was disturbed as well. Thank god…..that was…..crazy. Suddenly she remembered Bruce and swung around to face him. Bruce's mouth was agape and the expression of emotion on his face was changing quickly.

"Oh god….." Bruce whispered and Natasha instinctively pulled away from Clint and crossed the room to Bruce's corner stroking his hair. He was curled in the fatal position, his arms wrapped around himself as if in protection. "Hey, Bruce...he was just protecting you…." Clint said already settling next to her and Bruce and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder." She shot Clint a thankful smile and forced Bruce to look her in the eye. "Hey, Bruce, come one what's wrong?"

Bruce looked at Clint agonizing guilt in his eyes and Clint winced at the familiarity of it. "Everything is wrong. That shouldn't have had to happen. I can't believe he would do that for me."

Bruce turned his head down emotions overwhelming him. He hadn't had anyone defend him like Tony did before. Tony thought he was a good person. Tony LOVED him like a brother. It had been a really, really long time that someone loved him. Now he had someone willing to do horrible things and go against their beliefs to protect him. He didn't even know what to think about Tony's threats against Ross. He was absolutely terrifying. Sometimes he forgot Tony was the man behind the armor that he was dangerous, and until today he thought Tony was pretty easy to figure out. Now he realized he knew nothing about him at all, which killed him a little.

He hated when people judged him yet here he thought he had Tony pegged. How stupid he had been. His own father had been abusive and he had seen NOTHING. He was supposed to be SMART. Now he didn't know how to thank Tony, or how to even begin to try healing him. For once, he was at a complete loss. How the hells were they supposed to prove to Tony they loved him, how could he pay Tony back for giving him a chance at life again?

"I didn't know Tony could be so…..utterly terrifying." Steve stammered eyes wide trying to process what exactly just happened. Clint nodded in agreement. "He beats guys I've been tortured by, by like a lot." Rhodey looked up and sighed. "At least that's one thing I still knows true. Tony has always been crazy protective." Pepper nodded in agreement having been quietly draped over Tony for a while. "I actually knew he went and did this….I didn't know what he said though. Clint he's the one who got the council off your back as well."

Clint nodded solemnly letting Natasha take his hand and squeeze it tightly. "I guessed after a while, especially after that. No one else could have. How much did he give them? Or did he threaten them as well?" Pepper shook her head and smiled a tired smile at Clint. "3 million is all." Clint's eyes went wide before he forced his breathing to normal. "Is all? Damn what's a lot to him?"

Pepper cracked a real smile at that. "No clue, never heard him say the words, "Too much." Before." Clint shook his head and sighed as Bruce began to calm down next to him. "What are we going to DO you guys?" Bruce whispered and everyone looked at him thoughtfully. After a painted silence Steve took a deep breath and spoke. "We teach him, we prove every day we love him, that we need him." Natasha and Clint nodded in agreement. "We apologize." Natasha said ruefully. Clint squeezed her hand and spoke shakily. "We get to know him." Thor sighed heavily. "We let him know he is not unappreciated." Pepper smiled at all of them glad to know that the team she was worried about hurting Tony loved him too. "Any of you do a damn thing to hurt him ever again, I will kill you." She said deadly serious and no one spoke, not knowing what to say. Suddenly everyone froze as screen came to life again. "Oh god I hope this ends soon…." Bruce whimpered and everyone silently agreed with him as the screen started again.

**I really am unsure about this chapter, not quite sure if I got everyone's reactions right. I got my laptop back early, so I wrote this straight away. I love you all, please tell me what you think.**


	17. Chapter 17

_Images of Clint appeared on the screen, him playing pranks with Tony or fighting in the battle._

**_Birdbrain. The only one of the group with a decent sense of humor, I really like the guy. He's brave, smart, funny, and surprisingly good at getting along with everyone. He kind of reminds me of myself in some ways. The guilt, the pain, the bad past. It makes him and Bruce easier to get along with. Except I know they are both extraordinarily good people, and I can never be. I think Clint is a truly special kind of hero. He's got a kind of bravery and determination I have never even seen before, he's selfless, he's caring. I kind of admire him; well actually I REALLY admire him, though if he knew that he'd probably laugh in my face. I love playing pranks with him; he's one of the only people that can draw real smiles out of me. I forget for a little while when I'm around Clint. Also, I trust Clint. Completely. He is the most loyal person I have ever met, and I was absolutely crazed when I found out people were calling him a traitor. Clint is the heart of our damn team, and he lives with horrible guilt for his actions constantly, even if he shouldn't. I know it was Loki's fault that Clint attacked anyone, and it's just one more thing I have against Rudolph. Making a good man think he's a monster, that's cruel. I wish I could help the guy, but getting over guilt is never something I have been good at, so not a big help there. I will try to make him forget though. I'll make new arrows, suits whatever, anything to get his mind off of it. Off of Coulson, the Helicarrier, everything. I think it works, though Natasha does a better job. It might help that Clint is completely in love with her though. I know they just started dating, but I see him look at those wedding rings with such lust it makes me smile. Something hard for most people to do. I know I'm always going to be looking out for Clint. He will never have a mission I don't know about and can't be there too help if needed, because I can fucking OWN Shield if I choose. Which I don't but not the point. I will keep Natasha as humanly close as possible to him, and when the time comes one day, I'll pay for the ring, the wedding, the honeymoon and the house. Got to cover my bases on those wedding presents. I just hope I'm invited, because even though I'll still pay it will be a bit awkward. Clint is really my best friend next to Rhodey, and tops him in some other ways even though I love Rhodey like crazy. It's just Clint's THERE.I know he's THERE and even if it is stupid, I need him to be. He's someone I not only count as family, like all the team, but a friend as well like Bruce, except Bruce is my science bro, and that's different. I look up to Clint, in a different way I do others. I know I'll never be as good as him, because I'm me and I don't even know why the hell these amazing people put up with me, but I really hope I can least earn his status as a friend, because Clint Barton is just special, and I know the guy is alone a lot. So I'll make sure to always be in his corner, and protect him. He's my brother too, like my crazy ass funny twin brother. So I'm here for Clint, because he's on my team, but mostly, because he's Clint and I love the guy._**

Natasha was blushing like crazy as Tony's talk of marriage….but she found the idea was appealing. Clint squeezed her hand, and she looked up to see he was blushing and smiling, shock mixed in a little. "I really hope that marriage talk didn't scare you away. She smirked and sighed sadly. "Oh nothing can scare me away."

Bruce took the hint and scooted out of the way as the two lovers embraced smiling. "You okay?" Natasha asked cautiously and Clint nodded." Yeah, Tony thinks too highly of me though." Natasha frowned and scoffed. "I don't think so…" She mumbled but Clint ignored her, lost in his thoughts.

Tony thought he was a hero. Tony Stark, a man who today proved he was braver and stronger than any of them, thought he Clint Barton, a simple assassin was , "A special kind of hero." He wasn't even sure what to think. Tony cared about him? Tony looked up to him? He looked up to Tony. He always had, whether he admitted it or not. Everything Tony said was opposite to what he was expecting. He thought it be like "Great shooter, moving on." Not a monologue about how Tony admired and respected him. It made him feel loved and protected, a way only Natasha had ever made him feel. He just hoped he got the chance to repay the favor.

"He is such a hypocrite sometimes." Everyone whirled to face Pepper who was looking down at Tony, her hand gently stroking his hair. "He just said he didn't like Loki, that it was cruel to make a good man believe he was a monster, yet he can't see that's what his bastard father did to him. He thinks it's HIS fault."

Rhodey put a comforting hand on Pepper's back and Pepper smiled at him. "Hey it's just me and Natasha left huh?" Pepper said thoughtfully and Natasha bit her lip in worry. "Yes, I guess so." Pepper smiled half- heartily towards her. "Hey, It will be alright. He forgave you a long time ago. I'm not even sure what to expect. "

The screen flickered, and as Natasha buried herself into Clint worryingly she whispered. "I hope you're right Pepper."

**Alright guys, we're getting closer to the end, which makes me sad, because I really enjoy writing this story. I know Clint's was different, I just kind of got into a mood and rolled with it, because that's when my best writing happens. I was in a mood when I wrote Natasha Knew Thins, and that turned into something I'm proud of, and I was in a mood when I started this. I am planning the realize of a new story, kind of similar to this, except the team gets a mindreading curse put on them-I say no more- Anyways, I hope you liked, Review me!Love yall!**


	18. Chapter 18

_Images of Natasha flashed on the screen, all of her rare laughs and smiles._

**_"I knew from the first moment Natasha was special. That's why I didn't call her out on being a spy, even if I knew who she was really. I thought she was crazy, but in a good way, a way I like. I can see her around Clint, and even Pepper, how she changes .I see her smile sometimes, and its infectious because I smile just that's she's finally happy .I see everything because I watch. I watch because the honest truth is, I really met Natasha long before Clint, when she was Natalia._**

_ -Flashback-_

_Tony stood at Peggy's side, only about 9, just a year before she died. "Aunt Peggy, why are we in Russia?" Peggy smiled and soothingly brushed his hair with her hand. "We are just meeting a friend of mine little man. Oh look at the little dancer girl Tony!" Tony turned and on the corner of the street a girl about 8 danced gracefully around the sidewalk, red hair flashing in the sunlight as she twirled with the soft notes. "Oh dear I bet she's trying to get some money for her family, that happens a lot around here. It's so sad." Tony watched the girl dance and move with the music like she owned it, a beauty and poise so stunning that it blew him away. Suddenly Tony smiled pulling on Peggy's sleeve. "I have some money; may I go give it to her please?" Peggy smiled brightly and patted him on the back. "Go on then my little scamp; go tell her I said she dances beautifully." Tony smiled and ran towards the young ballerina. "Um- Miss? The girl stopped dancing and turned to face him. Her long red hair was pulled up in a bun and her face was young and angelic, flushed from the heat of dancing. Even though she was much younger, the red-haired beauty was obviously Natasha. She was wearing a blue dress that glinted in the sunlight, and she just stared at him for a moment. "Yes?" She replied heavy in Russian accent, curiosity, and a little fear creeping into her voice. He was just thankful she knew English, and sighed in relief. Smiling brightly he pulled out a handful of wadded 100$ bills his father had just thrown away in a drunken stupor, and gently placed them in her tiny hand. "I know this is a lot, but you need it, and you're a beautiful dancer Miss." She took the money wide eyed and excited, and then after studying it for a moment she realized how much American money she had, and shrieked in happiness, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek softly. "Thank you, thank you so much. I'm Natalia." Tony blushed wildly and his head went down. "I- um. I'm Tony. You're welcome." She smiled and then without another word went back to dancing, moving in perfect time with the music and Tony laughed in happiness for the first time in a very long time. "Goodbye Natalia, I hope I see you again."_

**_"I looked for her as I got older, curiosity overwhelming me, and the desperate need to find a connection to one of the few good memories I had. It took me years to trace her being taken by the Red Room, and when Clint saved her and took her to SHEILD, I was relived. I had spies as well, and my name was on her list of future targets, though I doubt she knew that. I still owe Barton for that one, indirectly saving my life, and saving hers. Ever since I was little I wondered if I could have talked Peggy into saving her from that place. Then she could have been my little sister, and wouldn't have had to go through all that she did, Peggy could have taken care of her instead of me, and I would have handled my father. Except then Natasha wouldn't exist. Natasha is strong; she's the strongest person I have ever known. She's fearless, smart, and deadly, and she wouldn't be that if she hadn't gone through that. Maybe I should have stayed with her, I would have gone through just as much as I already did, and I'd be a hero too. Not a selfish evil bastard pretending to be a good guy. When "Natalie" came to work for me, I was surprised and happy. Something I was always curious about was one of the last things I would figure out before I died. The only downer was I knew deep down that she would figure me out though. SHE could see exactly the selfish asshole I was, and told them I wasn't a hero. Then a crazy alien god invades, and we're on the same team. Now I just watch, I watch her melt, open up, and fall in love. She and Clint are perfect together, she's the ice to his fire, and he's the soft to her sharp I'm glad that she has someone she can trust and love, though I do sometimes get the protective urge to punch him whenever he upsets her, even if she hides it._**

**_I trust her with everything, and totally count on her in the battle field. Even though I trust every one of the team members with my life, I don't trust anyone but Clint with her. I know she's been used and hurt, and don't want it to ever happen again. Strong as she may be, some people can still hurt her, and I hate them for it. She's kind and loving, I have seen it, she's just had a bad past, and no one should judge her for it. I think one day she'll make an amazing mother, and poor Clint would have his hands full with two Natasha's running around. Strangely, I think out of everyone on the team, I'm most protective of her. Maybe it's because she's the one that no one thinks NEEDS protection, or maybe it's because I still remember the little dancer girl, the one who made me laugh, and gave me a flicker of hope to search for. Natasha Romanov, my little sister, the hope in the darkness, something that always caught my attention. Real funny thing is she hates me, like majorly, doesn't even know I care, or pay attention to every time she does anything. I feel a connection to her even if I won't show it. She reminds me of Peggy, always has, which makes her feel even more like family, but she's different also. I just hope, that one day, the fact that I love the Black Widow like a baby sister doesn't come back to haunt me. I have enough ghosts already._**

**Natasha, is Natasha.I hope you enjoyied this chapter, it had to be special because not only is she my very favorite next to Tony, she is also who I used to tell a lot of the story through. I had fun writing this chapter, so even if you don't like it please tell me what you think, I put quite a lot of thought into this, and still couldn't cramp everything in. Love you guys!**


	19. Chapter 19

Natasha trembled in Clint's arms, her eyes fixated on the genius in Pepper's gentle grasp. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she moved, out of Clint's arms and sat right next to Tony running her hand through his hair. With his wild brown hair everywhere and big brown eyes closed, he looked younger, and gentler. She smiled and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"You are a hero Tony Stark. We never really met for real you know. Thank you, Thank you for everything. I'm Natalia, and you are Tony. It's an honor to know you." Then she sat up silent tears running down her face. "You were a beautiful dancer Natasha." Pepper whispered putting a hand on Natasha's shoulder, and Natasha's clam slipped. "I can't believe he was there. I never remembered…. Future target…he's been keeping track of me?" Natasha stuttered wrapping her arms around herself before Clint picked her up slightly sliding under her and letting her curl into his chest. God she felt so like a young girl it sickened her. She was The Black Widow, and yet here she was crying, aching because of a man that she hadn't even known that long. She had always assumed Tony didn't like her, and she completely understood. Now…he cared….. A lot…..He loved her, said she was his….little sister. She knew she should stop it….stop showing that she cares...…... except she couldn't for the life of her bring it to an end. She was in shock, which was part of it, but she for once just didn't care if others thought she was weak.

She had been judging Tony Stark from the minute she met him, or thought she had met him. She assumed he didn't trust her and they mutually avoided each other. Now….the reality was he had always been watching from a corner, never intervening unless needed, but caring all the same. Like a real brother. A brother…. God Natasha had always wanted a family…..and now she had one. She had never even realized how much she truly cared about Tony until Loki's blast hit him. Now she realized her truly, utterly cared for the man- child genius, who hid behind a mask she never knew existed. Now she would watch a lot closer and protect him from everyone, or himself….because that's what family did right?

"Tasha…..it's starting." Clint whispered in her ear and she turned around steadily towards the screen, taking Pepper's nervous hand in hers, and laying her head on Clint's shoulder. They were going to make this. She hoped.

_Thousands upon thousands of pictures of Pepper appeared, all dazed in a golden glow._

**_"Pepper is my own personal Angel. She's everything I knew I would never deserve. When I met her…..she took my breath away, and there was never anything else but Pepper, stupid one night stands aside. The longer she stayed around, the more I fell for her. She wasn't running from me, she was getting to know me, and she WASN"T running. I never realized how closely I watched her until Afghanistan. I thought about her every day, hell every MOMENT of every day. The half-smile she gets when I do something not selfish, how she tucks her hair behind her ear when she's unsure of herself, or how she bites her lip when she's thinking. All I wanted was to prove she hadn't wasted all this time with me. That I could do good things too, not just destroy everything I touch. I don't know exactly when I fell in love with her, but I do remember feeling like a fool…..because I was praying for an Angel to love me. Then miracle upon all miracles I don't deserve happened, and she fell in love with me. She learned to love a monster, and touch a heart I long since thought disappeared. She is so brave, so strong, so amazing, it actually still just takes my breath away sometimes. I'll be in the kitchen with the Avengers, and Pepper will come in with Chinese, and just sit down laying her head on my shoulder. I just freeze for a moment, in awe that this beautiful, perfect woman loves me. Is here with me. I love the real smiles I get now, the ones reserved only for me. I have never met anyone that compares to her. Sometimes, when I feel her breathing next to me, I wonder if I'm dreaming, because surly only a dream could create something so amazing? When I'm up late and I see her sleeping I'll just stop, to watch her sleep peacefully, a princess out of a fairytale. The princess who fell in love with the beast, and I can't help but thank God for her. I know she could do oh SO much better, but since she is with me, I will try my best to give her the world. I will give everything to her, because I really am hers, body mind and soul. There was a time I wanted to push her away for her own protection. Hell sometimes I still do, except I'm selfish, and I know I couldn't handle not having her hold me at night anymore, not having her hair in my face every morning. She is my everything, my world, and I love her more than anything on it. God….I don't even think I've ever told her just how much she means to me. I would die a thousand painful deaths to protect her, and I will. No one will ever hurt my Angel. Even if her presence is enough for me, I know it won't be enough for her. That's why I just bought probably the most expensive ring on the planet. A diamond I think is just the right size, surrounded by sapphires, because they match her eyes, eyes that I could stare into for hours. Also it was almost expensive to keep the cashier who was in a very deep shock at Tony Stark, the playboy, buying a wedding ring, quiet. I don't care though, because it's for Pepper, and I don't want her reading about it in the tabloids before I even get a chance to propose. I just hope she says yes, because a future with her, a life with her, is all I could ever ask for, and the only thing I want is to make her happy forever._**"

**Alright now this was hard. Love and me, we aren't exactly friends, so writing about love, sometimes feels out of my league. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that I wasn't to cheesy. Someone suggested I write a sequel after I finish, which I'm thinking about, because I would like to show how Tony changes, and how they change around Tony. I'm still playing with the idea though, so until then I'll keep you posted. Review me! Love you guys to death!**


	20. Chapter 20

Pepper gasped her hand going over her mouth and happy tears running down her face. She knew all of the others eyes were on her at this, but she simply didn't care. Tony Stark bought her a ring!He loved her, like she loved him!She actually had to resist the urge to squeal like a little girl. He loved her…so much…. And she had been SO worried she would end up being just another fling of his, but he loved her. Alot. Never was Pepper Potts so damn happy to be wrong.

Pepper's eyes went down to the man in question and leaned down softly kissing him on the lips. "Just for the record, I'm going to say yes." She whispered gently, then smiled and stroked his hair smiling as he slept peacefully.

Natasha sighed turning her head away from the stinging affection. It was insane how much Tony loved Pepper. The biggest known playboy in the universe, was in love, and wanted to get married, she would of found it incredibly ironic had she not been through hell today.

"ENOUGH!" The angry voice of Loki rang through the otherwise quiet room and they all looked up in shock. Loki had blood running from his nose, all down his face, and a nasty looking bruise forming on his jawbone. His green eyes rang murderous and his fists were clenched. He marched up to Pepper and Thor stepped in between them. "Leave her be Loki." Thor's voice was cold, colder than any of them had ever heard, and it sounded so wrong coming from the happy, care-free god.

Loki smiled wide; the blood running down his face made the smile all the creepier. "As you wish Thor. I do, however, think you all have grown too comfortable. Perhaps we should make this a bit more intense shall we?"

He smirked and Thor stiffened and replied hotly, "Trickster, you only make this worse for yourself, invading this man's secrets will prove useless in your games, and your cruelty against him is useless." Loki just waved his hand and sent Thor crashing into the wall. "Your endless righteousness is useless Son of Odin." He turned his gaze to the rest of the group and Natasha froze when Clint slipped out from under her taking a casual, but distinctly protective, position in front of her glaring at the God with malice. "So Loki, what happened to your face? Tony Stark pack a punch?"

Loki scowled and took one step forward towards Clint, who shifted into a fighting stance, and then froze upon seeing Steve and Bruce rise to stand by Clint. "I think I shall wipe the smirk off you face in a much more painful way then I was about to Agent Barton." He clapped his hands, and the room fell into darkness as the screen began to play.

_A two sided image appeared on the screen. On one side, was Tony looking into a regular mirror, his normal reflection looking back at him. On the other, it was the same, but the reflection was a grotesque, horrific version of Tony. His eyes were a sickly shade of green instead of a warm brown, his hair was perfectly pristine and midnight black. His eyes bore a look of contempt and madness, His smile a cruel one, like a serial killer's as he drains the life out of his victims. He wore a simple black suit with a red tie, barley distracting from the blood staining his suit, his arms, his hands. It was smudged on his cheek, and the reflection drenched in blood laughed at the real Tony as fire surrounded the image._

_"__**I destroy EVERYTHING!" **_Tony howled and the group froze at the agony in Tony's voice. Loki just smirked as Tony kept talking.


	21. Chapter 21

"**_Sometimes I feel so trapped it's hard to breath. So many people are counting on me, to save them, or to help them save others. I CAN'T.I don't WANT to. I'm so sick of this silly game I play with myself. I try to pretend I'm not evil, that I'm not just like that bastard of a father that I SWORE I would never turn into. I lie to everyone, I lie to myself. No one even KNOWS me. They think that they do, but they don't. No one sees me plaster a fake smile and make jokes and laugh like nothing is wrong, when really there's barely enough left of me to pretend. I know, I put up my own walls, to protect others from me, to protect myself, but I would at least hope someone cares enough about me to think about breaking through my walls, or even NOTICING that they're there! I feel so alone all the time, because even if I do reach out, people don't take me seriously. It's all my fault tough, because who am I to expect people to want to help someone who only ever helps himself. I don't deserve anything I have. Not my brains, my money, Pepper, the Avengers. None of it. I should be behind bars or on death row for murder of thousands. I'm the worst serial killed in all of history, and my numbers outweigh the worst one by a longshot. My father was right in everything he ever said to me. I'm pathetic, I'm hated. I'm worthless. They don't need me, no one really does. Pepper could find someone else, Bruce is plenty smart enough to replace my intellect, and Rhodey could be Iron Man. After Pepper walked in on my suicide attempt after New York, I swore to myself, that for her, I wouldn't try again. Even so, I can't help the desperate need to sometimes. I'll just stare at a gun, or razor, or whatever it is and want to SO DAMN BAD. Because even if I go to hell, I know I'm paying for what I did, that I'm getting what I deserved. Nothing that hell can throw at me could be worse than looking in the mirror .DAY. I don't even know what's wrong with me, for God's sake I'm surrounded by some of the most amazing people on Earth, and I'm still a loser. The only reason I even let those poor guys within a mile of me is because every time I help them, I can live in denial a little longer, pretend for one more day I'm not hurting everyone I care about just by breathing. I can pretend the scars on my arms I hide with special Stark-Tech makeup don't exist. It's those moments I'm living for now. If you call what I'm doing living. I protect the people I have left to care about, but I don't actually live, because I'm a machine. Cold, calculating, heartless. I don't remember a time I ever looked in the mirror and liked what I saw .I know Jarvis has tried to talk me into therapy, but what am I to tell them huh? Hi I'm Tony Stark and I've hated myself since I was 6, tried to commit suicide 5 times, cut my wrists when I when younger and started again after I flew a nuke into outer space. Yeah. That's gonna go ever well .I'm trying to stop, really, for Pepper, for the team, but after what I saw from that scepter, I sometimes wonder, if despite what Pepper said, I'm putting them in more danger by staying alive, that I'm just being selfish. So more cuts are added, and they all scream at me that I'm being selfish. That's not so new though is it? Tony Stark, asshole of the century, one of the most loved and hated men on the planet, and I struggle to keep myself and the few people I have safe every day. I have everything most people would kill for yet; I would give all my money, my company, my brain, Iron Man, absolutely everything, to take the pain away. The get the blood off my hands and get the family I never had .It doesn't matter though, because I'm alone. I have always been and will always be alone. There's nothing I can ever do. That's really what kills me, because I hate being alone more than anything else, so it's fitting, that it is my personal curse._**

**I just got very, very intense there. I actually frightened myself a little writing this. Please tell me what you guys think, Love you lots, Review Me!**


	22. Chapter 22

Everyone was frozen in horror at what they just heard. Natasha's heart was beating a hundred miles an hour and silent tears were streaming down her now very pale face. The room was silent expect for quiet sobbing from Pepper, and in a sudden flash of anger Natasha walked over to Tony and pulled his sleeve up. Sure enough, dozens of jagged scars littered his skin, and Natasha couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips.

"Oh god…." Tears streamed harder and she marched face to face with Loki, who was taken aback by her sudden fury. "Men like YOU are the reason this happens. You are a MONSTER, just like Howard Stark. Tony is brave, strong, and selfless and no matter WHAT THE HELL YOU DO OR SHOW US WILL WE STILL CARE ABOUT HIM. You want to break him, but we won't LET him break."

Loki smirked. "You are exactly what will break him." He nodded to the screen and the all turned to watch as the screen lit up.

"No! Stop it!" Natasha screamed in panic launching herself at Loki and taking him the ground punching him. Blood splattered as she broke Loki's nose and she felt strong arms wrap around her waist before pulling her off of Loki. She tried to elbow whoever it was in her panic but the arms held her firm. "Natasha. TASHA!" She stopped fighting a moment swinging to look into Clint's eyes.

"It's not fair Clint, he deserves to pay!" Clint pulled her close and whispered comfortingly. "He will. On our terms when Tony isn't in danger, I promise, he'll pay."

Natasha accepted that curling into Clint. Loki hissed and stood furiously. "You will pay for that one day bitch." Then he flashed out of the room and left them with the screen.

_The screen showed Tony and Loki in Stark Tower during the invasion. "….happen if you were against them?" Only the end of what Loki said was understandable. Loki suddenly touched the staff to Tony's Arc and Tony froze going sheet white._

"Whoa, this isn't what Tony said happened…" Steve said worried but everyone ignored him.

_ Tony's face filled with horror and Loki laughed pushing him out the window._

Everyone gasped with worry while Natasha dug her nails into Clint's leg in anger.

_Suddenly the scene skipped forwards and Tony was flying through the air with the nuke when images suddenly started shooting through his mind like bullets._

_Fury lying dead at Tony's feet, his chest smoking and Tony standing over him in the Iron Man suit laughing. __**"No…."**_

_Rhodey in Tony's arms as Tony ran a knife across his throat and the life drained out of his eyes. __**"It's NOT REAL!"**_

_Thor lying on his back, blank eyes staring at nothing, a bullet hole between his eyes and Tony standing next to him gun in hand, smirking. "__**I wouldn't…"**_

_Steve falling to his knees in battle to reveal Tony standing behind Steve in the Iron man suit, beam focused on the fallen man as he died.__** "It can't happen…**_

_Bruce lying on a stretcher in Tony's lab as Tony jabbed a syringe into Bruce's arm, and his heart rate flat lined. "__**BRUCE!"**_

_Clint looking at Tony with hatred before an arrow was shot into his heart and Tony walked over to him dropping Clint's bow on his now lifeless body.__** "I can't do that!NO!"**_

_Natasha dancing happily when suddenly a knife lodges itself between her shoulder blades and she falls to the floor as Tony towers above her laughing. __**"NO! NATASHA I'M SORRY!NO!"**_

_Pepper smiling at Tony and leaning over to kiss him when he stabs her in the stomach and she chokes whispering "Why?" as Tony walks away from her. __**"NO!NEVER!I CAN"T LET THAT HAPPEN!PEPPER!**_

**_"There is nowhere to run Tony. I almost controlled you this time. I will get you eventually and I will make sure all this happens. One by one I will MAKE you kill them all." _**_Loki's voice spoke in Tony's head and Tony's stomach twisted in fear.._

_"Sir you know this is a one way trip." Jarvis said bringing him back to reality for a moment. "__**Good. They'll be safe." **__Tony shot through the portal and images of everyone's faces looked back at him. __**"This is for them…." **__Darkness crept in. "__**For them…." **__Everything faded away._

**Okay so I'm nervous...I think this is kind of a crappy chapter but it was really hard so I hope you like it anyway.**


	23. Chapter 23

"Wow that sucked majorly the second time too." Everyone swung around to see none other than Tony Stark, standing at a newly appeared door watching them all wearily. Despite his sarcastic comment, he looked horrible. Blood smeared his forehead and his body posture just screamed "PAIN." His face was expressionless and he seemed to be simmering, looking nearly transparent for a moment then solid the next.

"TONY!Oh my god Tony I love you so much…" Pepper sobbed, gently sitting other Tony on the ground then running to the one standing at the door, throwing herself in his arms, and finally collapsing into his chest with sobs. "Shhh Pep, it's okay. Let's get out of here." He looked to the others fondly and softly spoke again. "Two of you grab other me over there and take him out here, then you'll all wake up."

Natasha looked up at him, tears still in her eyes and body frozen from shock. "Loki?" She wheezed, unable to ask the thousand other questions she had, or utter the millions of apologies she wanted to make right now. Tony sighed tiredly shooting a wary look at Thor. "He's gone."

Thor gulped and stood, walking over to Tony pulling him into a fierce hug. "Is Loki dead then, brother?" Tony jerked back shocked at the "Brother." He stared at Thor for a moment then took a stuttering breath before answering "No. I didn't kill him Thor. I trapped him… the connection…. He had to make…to get in my head. It was two ways. I fought him through, got into his head, and trapped him there. I locked him in the deepest recesses of his mind."

Thor took a deep breath then closed his eyes. "You did the right thing." Tony looked up shocked, fear of hatred written all over his face. Thor saw it and it tore at his heart. "You are more a brother to me than he is Tony. He has greatly wronged you and he deserves to serve his punishment." Tony just stared back at Thor, unable to reply. Silence reined for a moment before a voice broke it.

"Tony-"Steve tried talking but his voice cracked horribly, so he opted to stand and walked over to Tony. "I-" He tried again but Tony raised his hand at Steve's coming words. "Steve…..let's just go home okay? It's time to wake up." Steve looked helplessly at Pepper and she just bit her lip for a moment, watching Tony with red-rimmed eyes, and then quietly mouthed "Later." to him.

"Um- yeah Tony. Clint, help me." Steve said sighing in defeat for the moment and began to walk towards the other Tony. Clint was frozen in silence, just watching Tony like a ghost, when Steve's request finally hit him and he rose shakily helping the super solider lift Tony gently from the ground. Tony smiled as they crossed the threshold and smiled softly when everything started to get bright. "See you on the other side." Everything went white in a flash as they crossed completely, and Natasha shot up with a gasp, her eyes met by the hospital wallpaper and the soft ticking of a clock.

…_Sequel now out! Title is "Shadows That Haunt You …"_

**So this is the end of "What's Hidden Inside" I thank you all, so much for sticking with me through this fic, which I'm very proud of. Thank you to my reviewers who reviewed every single chapter, and begged for more. You made me feel really happy with my writing, and for you all, instead of turning this into a single story like I planned, the sequel will be out very soon. I hope those of you who read this after it is completed will still leave your reviews and tell me what you think. Love you all, see you soon .**


	24. Chapter 24

Hey guys, I just wanted to let everyone who read this story know that the sequel "Shadows That Haunt You" Is now out. Thank s to everyone who read and reviewed this story. Love you!


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